Never Been Touched

Episode 5: Never Been Touched

 In this episode of Midnight Confessions, Elle Luna Quinn; Tantra practitioner; talks about the vital role physical touch plays in a Tantric practice, and its deep connection to human nature. She explores how intentional touch can enhance spiritual and emotional connection, helping us foster deeper relationships with ourselves and others. Tune in for a fascinating discussion on the power of touch and its transformative impact. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Midnight Confessions. I'm your host, LQ. Today I'm gonna talk to you about never being touched. And that could mean many things for you. Maybe you've never been touched, maybe you've never had intimacy. Or maybe you've never experienced a hug, holding of a hand, or just snaggling on the sofa. It can look so different for every person. And that's completely okay. The reason why I got into the Tantra work and is because I love how deeply it connects with people. How much it awakens a person and also helps with expressing what you need in that moment. A beautiful caress, a beautiful sensation from your partner, partners, your lovers. And I'm gonna go back to oh you know, when we had that lockdown, the pandemic, no one could go on dates, no one could physically see each other. We all were in our homes at that time. At that time I was outside in nature exploring, doing my tantra work, um, self-practice, because you know, couldn't do this work, unfortunately. But it's completely okay, you know. Perfect timing, perfect harmony will happen. But when you really think about that time, we never got to hug, we're never to hold hands, we're never to have intimacy, couldn't even go on dates. And now that everything is open, dating has changed, how to communicate has changed. Everyone's mostly on their phones. Have you felt disconnected with that part of yourself, that sexuality, that sensuality? Have you forgotten how to express to your partner or partners or lovers what you need? Because remember, that's the beauty of communication. You can tell each other what you need at that time, at that moment. Whether it's a hug or standing in the kitchen cooking together or washing the dishes, being playful, talking, looking at one another. But what has really lost the disconnection is the holding of hands, the touching. I walk around here in my beautiful, cute neighborhood, and I people watch, I love it, I observe people. It's just like I love seeing people smile, um, doing fun things, whether it's playing on the swings, I love playing on my on the swings, and the it's just like it makes me feel alive, but I love seeing it, and I love um the dogs playing, and you know what I love too is seeing the odd couple. Yes, they're holding hands, you just see them like looking at something, and all of a sudden their hands connect, and you can actually see that they're actually have that connection with each other, and or they're like leaning to each other, and it's a beautiful thing to see, and I love it, and I just smile and giggle to myself because I'm like that is beautiful to see, to see the person holding hands, and it's it's like magic to me, it's just like you know, people are connecting in still, but I've also noticed the disconnect at the same time. So I want you to think about that. When less have you looked at your partner, your lovers, and had that intimacy part, soft touch on the foot, on the hand, the calf. Trust me, if you massage that calf, you're gonna get something. Meaning, if you do it in a certain way, it arouses the person. And that's why I love doing my tantric massage because it isn't about massaging, yes, yes. We get to massage, manipulate the soft tissue, the lingman and the yarney. And if you don't know what a lingman and the yarney is, a lingman is a cock, a penis, and a yarney is a vagina or a pussy, whichever term you prefer. But you can just massage a forearm or a calf or a hand, and it just arouses the person, it brings that sensation because they haven't felt that intimacy, they haven't felt that connection with another person's hand actually gliding, tickling, putting pressure against the body. Taking the time, the moment with each other. That is the important part. Hearing their moaning, hearing how they're breathing, allowing yourself to express, like, yes, that feels amazing, that feels good, a little softer, a little harder. We don't express ourselves that way because we're so locked up, disconnected from what we actually need. And again, that goes straight back to the root in the sacral chakra, not able to express it anymore. You think, oh, if I say something, it's gonna be wrong, and then the other person might take uh offense to it, or like, oh, I just did something wrong, but no, you didn't do anything wrong. The beauty of it is you're learning about each other's bodies, you're learning about each other, how what arouses them, what connects with them. There's no right or wrong to how you are exploring your lover, your partner's body. As long as you're both expressing what you're feeling, and you're doing it out of love, that is the key moment. You're doing it out of love from love to each other, and that's the beauty part, you're doing it out of love. Whether you're having soft, gentle, rough kinky sacks, it's always done with love because that's what you both enjoy, you both explore. But the key part here that I'm talking about is some people have never been touched whether it's because trauma, abuse, or don't feel worthy of it. So when I do the tantric work, I pay attention to what my client is saying or clients, depending on working with couples, and I pay attention to them. I see their body language, I hear how they're talking, are they closing themselves off? Are they being open? Are they melting into my hands? Meaning by melting, is their shoulders becoming softer? They're not tensed up, are they sitting comfortably and just being like melting into their own body and actually just allowing themselves to be free in that moment? Because this is what the space is for me. When person when a client comes in through my door and sits on my sofa or goes on my table, they get to be who they are from inside, what they're hiding, what they're unable to express with their partners or lovers, or they weren't able to express it to whoever they needed to express at that time, whoever they were with romantically. This is the space where they can do that. And I acknowledge it, and I love them with everything they're trying they're expressing to me. And I tell them, you express what you need at that time at this moment, you share what you feel comfortable sharing. And then give them the time and the moment. But the intimacy. What does it feel like? Do they know what it feels like? So I'm asking you, when last have you just taken the time to explore your partner, partners, lovers, body, and allow your partner to explore yours. And if you can't verbally say what you need, you can always uh use your own hands and take their hand and press on their hand on top if you're like, oh, I need more pressure, and you just squeeze their hand to give that pressure. So for example, I take um say you're looking for more pressure, and my hand glides up your thigh, and I'm like being gentle, but I'm putting pressure a little bit more, and you're like, I need more of that. You take the hand, my hand, and you put the pressure on top of my hand just a little bit gently, and I get the expression you want more pressure from my hand, and I do that. The same thing in the bedroom, the same thing wherever you are making love with your partner, it's the same thing. It's the same thing. If you're unable to verbally communicate, that's another way of doing it. Okay, you're not giving a wrong or right answer. What you're doing is communicating with each other. You're connecting with each other. And it's amazing to see. Again, if we've never been touched or felt that intimacy that you're desiring. Again, find a tantric practitioner in your area. Someone that's there to support you, love you, connect with you. Um again, I do that here in Alberta. And I have clients that travel from um from everywhere to come here. So if you're on a business or holiday or anything, I'm here. Just choosing you. This is all about choosing you. So I dare you to connect with your partner or lovers and express what you need. Softly, gently express it. Explore a little more. And whatever you both say to each other, and it may shock you or shock the other person or anything, don't judge what the other person is saying, what they need, what they're expressing. Maybe they really would love that. Maybe they would love to have the their um buttocks massaged or the ass massaged, or um they want their hair pulled just ever so gently, or their back scratched, or they want their toes sucked. It's about what that meaning then without judging the other person. It's about just being made for them. And hey, maybe you don't enjoy doing certain things, and that's completely okay too. But if you've never done it, you can always test it, see how it explores, how it connects with you. But if it doesn't go, that's okay, you're allowed to say, like, okay, that's creating boundaries. It's like, oh okay, I didn't like the hair pulling part, it's kinda was a little much for me, or um can it be a little bit softer or a little gentler. You're allowed to create those boundaries and those connections. So you just to start slowly mindfully with each other again. Go for a walk. Hold hands. That's starting off slow. See what it feels like. Touch their pinky on their hand and be like, hmm, you know, this feels so good, this is gentle. Um have you ever like stopped and looked at your partner's pants, their fingers, each an individual finger? Just look at it. Same with the toes, the feet, the arms, every part of the body is important. Maybe they're missing a part of like a part of themselves on their body. But doesn't mean it's missing. It just means it's not there. It just means you get to see that beauty part of them. That's what you get to see. You get to see their story. And that's even more beautiful too, because you get to s explore that part of it, but you're like, Oh, there's a story here. And you get to gently rub in that area, you get to explore that area a little bit more deeper. Hmm. Think about it. But right now, I just want to dare you to go for a walk and hold your partner's hand. You know what? The best part to you, you can do this with a friend too. Hold their hand. It doesn't have to be romantic. You can hold your friend's hand. I hold my friends' hands. I do. I love it. It doesn't mean anything more. It just means for two friends holding hands. Having that deep connection with each other. So start there, holding each other's hands, going for a walk. So I dare you to do that. I dare you. XO, XO. LQ.